10 Things I Hate About You, 1999’s teen-movie takeoff on Shakespeare’s The Taming Of The Shrew, is back for its 20th-anniversary Unauthorized Musical Parody at Rockwell Table + Stage, the latest smash UMPO song-&-dance laughfest from the folks who previously spoofed teen classics Mean Girls and Clueless to equally hilarious/raunchy effect.

Like Shakespeare before it, UMPO 10 Things I Hate About You introduces us to night-and-day opposite sisters Kat (Stephanie Renee Wall) and Bianca (alternate Stella Kim), the latter as fair as fair can be while her older sister proudly embraces the “b” word. (Cue South Park’s “Kyle Is A Bitch,” retitled “Kat Is A Bitch,” just one of a couple dozen pop hits to be integrated jukebox-musical-style into the show’s preestablished plot).

Joan Jett’s “Bad Reputation” (because that’s precisely what Kat has around school) serves as the first full-cast showcase for Mallory Butcher’s showstopping choreography, dance moves that work better than ever on Rockwell’s reconfigured arena stage.

And then we’re off for another thrilling day at Rockwell High, where über-popular Joey Fucking Donner (Jason Michael Snow) has made a name for himself as TV spokesperson for among other products Noxema Age Defying Face Cream (“Because Your DNA Failed You”) and Hanes 100%-cotton tube socks (“Hanes… Put Your Dick In Us”).

Movie fans will quickly recognize Miss Perky (alternate Lesley McKinnell), still writing erotic fiction despite an intrusive spell check that turns “I want to lick your pussy” into “I want to lick your puppy.”

More significant plotwise is new kid in school Cameron James, played in the movie by Joseph Gordon-Levitt but transformed her into female transfer student Cameron Gordon-Levitt (Katie Self), whom Miss Perky assures won’t find her new school any different from her old one. (“Same asswipe motherfuckers everywhere.”)

Geeky Michael (Mathenee Treco) introduces Cameron to the school’s many cliques including “Archetypes” Cher, Regina, and Heather, Heather, Heather, Heather, Heather, Heather … a list that would go on ad infinitum if Cameron didn’t spot Bianca and segue into Backstreet Boys’ “I Want It That Way.”

Though Joey’s suggested bet that he can change the most unattractive girl in school into prom queen is quickly rejected (having been done before in She’s All That), Michael’s proposition that Cameron get close to Bianca by tutoring her in Anatomy gets a thumbs-up. (After all, since Cameron knows everything a budding lesbian can possibly know about the female anatomy, what better subject to start with than that?).

When Bianca’s dad (Treco again) decrees that Bianca must wait to date till her sister finally decides to go out with a boy, Michael and Cameron host the audience-participation quiz show “Who Wants To Date Kat Stratford?”, and given a complete absence of takers, they approach school bad boy Patrick (alternate A.J. Mendoza), aka Outback Steakhouse (because he comes from a land “Down Under”), and hire him to invite Kat out on a date.

Like the many UMPO hits before it, 10 Things I Hate About You recreates the movie original’s most memorable moments, tops among them Patrick’s football stadium grand gesture “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You,” one that worked a whole lot better for Heath Ledger back in ‘99 than it did last year for Love, Simon villain Martin, who knew his teen movies almost as well as UMPO writer/creator Kate Pazakis, once again at the top of her game.

And because no high-school flick would hit the bulls-eye without some honest emotion (and maybe even a tear or two), expect to be touched by Bianca’s discovery of the lesbian lying within and by Kat’s eleventh-hour list of 10 things she hates about Patrick, the last of which proves as powerful as ever.

Pazakis has once again assembled an all-star creative team, from director Nathan Moore, whose imaginative touches are everywhere, to musical director/arranger extraordinaire Gregory Nabours and his rocking Rockwell band–Blake Estrada, Liam Kevany, and Sterling Laws, to performers so fabulous, you couldn’t possibly tell who’s a main cast members and who’s an alternate.

Musical theater star Wall tears into Kat opposite an absolutely endearing Kim, who like her stage sister can belt to the heaven just as sensationally as she’s proven in other shows she can sing legit, and Self is a revelation as the most stunning butch lesbian in town.

Mendoza’s fiery Aussie Patrick and Snow’s too-handsome-for-his-own-good Joey are triple-threat-winners as well, and for multiple-role comic relief Broadway National Tour stars McKinnell and Treco can’t be beat.

As for Bianca’s best friend Chastity (played on screen by Gabrielle Union), well she does indeed show up … as a cardboard cutout who occasionally speaks in clips from the movie, another clever Pazakis bit.

Chadd Michael McMillan’s movie-nostalgia costumes and inventive production design are terrific too as are Julien V. Elstob’s dazzling Vegas-ready lighting and his scene-setting projections, and Zachry Stauffer’s sound design is every bit as expert.

Not appearing at the performance reviewed were Ashley Argota, Nick Bredosky, Garrett Clayton, Briana Cuoco, Dagenfield, and Matthew Francis.

Sam Baker is production stage manager and Ashley Balderrama is assistant production stage manager. EK Dagenfield is technical director and Pablo Rossil is production coordinator.

Over the past half-dozen-or-so years, Kate Pazakis and her Unauthorized Musical Parody franchise have carved out a name and genre unique in L.A. musical theater. There are at the very least 10 Things You Will Love About UMPO 10 Things I Hate About You, but who’s counting?

Rockwell Table & Stage, 1714 N. Vermont, Los Angeles.
www.rockwell-la.com

–Steven Stanley
April 6, 2019

Tags: Los Angeles Theater Review, Rockwell Table & Stage