RECOMMENDED
Mormon Boy Steven Fales recalls his two-year stint as missionary in Portugal in Missionary Position, a sort of prequel to Fales’ alternately captivating and compelling solo piece Confessions Of A Mormon Boy, which like its processor proves a terrific showcase for its writer-star’s triple-threat talents as actor, storyteller, and showman.

Confessions focused on Fales’ marriage (which produced two children), his realization that he could no longer live a “heterosexual” life, his coming out and later employment as what is euphemistically called an escort, his drug use, and ultimately, his acceptance of himself as an out and proud gay man. The play has had hit engagements in a dozen U.S. cities, including a successful run at West Hollywood’s Coast Theatre (where I saw it twice), as well as a lengthy engagement off-Broadway.

While Missionary Position lacks the built-in interest factor of a drug and prostitution-fueled coming-out story, it is nonetheless an involving piece of theater made even more so by the Mormon Church’s major role in the recent passage of Prop 8. Missionary Position looks at the hold that Mormonism has on its church members as well as secret ceremonies which reveal just why gay marriage is such a threat to Mormon beliefs. Add to that the play’s central focus on Mormon missionary life and just exactly what those white-shirt-and-tie-wearing bike-riding buddies are up to during their tours of duty here and abroad, and you have an involving ninety minutes of theater.

If there’s any doubt that Fales has left the Mormon Church, he erases it from the play’s first moments.  “Don’t tell my kids I just said mother-fucker,” he entreats us before opening the large trunk he says he’s been carrying around with him for years. “In this trunk is everything I saved from my Mormon mission,” he reveals.  There’s a scrapbook full of childhood pictures, “and you know gays love scrapbooks.”  There’s also a letter granting him a leave of absence from Boston Conservatory, where 19-year-old Steven was at the time majoring in Musical Theater. Young Mr. Fales had, you see, begun to feel those pesky gay urges, despite (like Peter Allen) dating his own personal Liza, and if he left school on a mission, God might see fit to make him straight and maybe even “bless me with Marius on Broadway.”

For anyone wondering just how celibate Mormon missionary boys must be, Fales gives us the lowdown—even masturbation is strictly prohibited, and little Stevie had been flogging his log since he first discovered a very special use for Vaseline Intensive Care Lotion at the age of 13. If “Elder Fales” was to give up pleasuring himself, at least, he prayed, “Don’t send me to North Dakota.”  God must have been listening to this Mormon boy’s prayers because lo and behold, he was assigned to serve in exotic Portugal, that little sliver next to Spain on the Iberian Peninsula.

Fales goes on to recall his time at the MTC (Missionary Training Center) in Provo, Utah, puts on his missionary jacket and nametag which, he tells us, gives him super powers, and reveals the number one rule which missionary boys must follow: Never be alone.  (Missionaries may sleep in the same bedroom, but never, God forbid, in the same bed.) There’s also his battle against depression/homesickness/culture shock/horniness (“I was crying all the time and prayed for God to be my Prozac.”)

Also recalled are Fales various fellow missionaries (transfers can be frequent and unexpected), like the elder from Iowa with the prematurely receding hairline, and Elder Harmon (who saved Steven’s life from a burning mattress, and years later reappeared in the adult Fales’ life), and the dreamy elder from (where else?) California.

More serious are the doubts which plagued young Steven, the realization that his Portuguese converts were being “spiritually raped” and “robbed of their Catholic birthright,” and the question which ran constantly through his head, “Do I really believe what I’m preaching?”

Missionary Position features several fantasy/flashback sequences, which showcase Matthew Denman’s marvelously theatrical lighting and Efrain Schunior’s inventive sound design. In one, Fales imagines meeting explorer Vasco da Gama, the (in Fales’ mind at least) sexy Portuguese taking him on an erotic voyage which includes a ocean tempest and a hot Portuguese go-go boy. In another, Fales takes us behind the scenes to a Mormon “Endowment Ceremony,” for which he dons the actual vestments (a white sort-of toga with dainty, leafy green apron and white cloth sort-of shower cap) which strangely enough he was not ordered to return following his excommunication. The secret ceremony itself would seem to be something out of a cult or gay fraternity initiation, but has more nefarious implications, Fales explaining how these gender-specific Mormon rituals make gay marriage an anathema to the Mormon Church.

As in any solo performance production, the writer/performer needs a director who will not only help him shape the material but also stage it in a way to maximize its impact and keep the piece from ever becoming static or dull.  In this capacity, Celebration Theatre’s Artistic Director Michael A. Shepperd more than fills the bill, Shepperd’s imaginative direction assuring that audience attention never flags.

Like Confessions Of A Mormon Boy, Missionary Position is a showcase for the multitalented Fales. Though occasionally stumbling over a line here or there (a very minor distraction), Fales’ ingratiating presence and natural charisma hold the audience’s interest, and he even gets to sing a few songs, including one from his Mormon childhood, about which he remarks, “You never forget the songs. There are other songs I want to sing but the church won’t give me the rights.” He does, however, conclude his performance with a lovely a cappella rendition of “Make Believe,” from Show Boat, recalling the years he spent in the closet following his mission, years of making believe he was straight. As Fales becomes more comfortable and confident with his still-a-work-in-progress script, he can make the piece even more compelling by adding more eye contact and interaction with the audience to further involve us in his journey.

Anyone with a curiosity about just what makes Mormons tick (or what goes on during those two years of celibacy forced on young men in their sexual prime) will find much of interest in Missionary Position. Regardless of your religious beliefs or sexual orientation, it’s a pleasure to spend ninety minutes with Steven Fales, a man now truly on a mission.

Celebration Theatre, 7051B Santa Monica Blvd.,Hollywood.
www.celebrationtheatre.com

–Steven Stanley
January 22, 2009