THE NEIGHBORHOOD CRIME WATCH

NOT RECOMMENDED

In Craig Alpaugh’s The Neighborhood Crime Watch, a pair of burglars break into a
Canoga Park home.  One wears pantyhose over his head, the legs dangling over
his face like long rabbit ears.  The other is elegantly dressed. They are brothers,
improbably so as the elegantly dressed one looks thirty to forty years older than the
one wearing the panty hose, once he has removed them.  Older brother would
rather die than go back to prison he says. After all, “prisons are filled with
dangerous criminals and elected officials.”  The burgling brothers have been
nicknamed “The Brunch Bandits.”  Their motto is “We dine and then we steal,”
though all they can find in the kitchen of this house is a boring tuna fish sandwich.
(In an early break-in, there wasn’t a thing to eat, so they ordered pizza.)
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SWIMMING TO THE MOON

NOT RECOMMENDED

The Beatles’ hit “When I’m 64” came out in 1967, the same year that Jim
Morrison recorded the most famous Doors hit, “Light my Fire.”  Interestingly, had
he not died under mysterious circumstances in 1971 (at the age of 27), Jim
Morrison would be turning 64 this year.
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THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO

NOT RECOMMENDED

The Sight Unseen Theatre Group is one of my favorite local companies.  Their
Quarterlife made my “Best of” lists for World Premiere Play, Intimate Theater Play,
and Ensemble.  A Year Without Spring, directed by Andy Mitton, was another
fine world premiere drama, with outstanding performances (particularly by Eric
Bloom and Michael Laurino).  Then, in a complete turnabout, Sight Unseen put
on a musical, Stephen Sondheim’s Assassins, with AYWS director Mitton wearing
a much different hat, as musical director, Quarterlife star Clark Freeman in the
band, and sets and lighting co-designed by Sam Roberts.  Once again, a Sight
Unseen production made my “Best of” list, this time for Intimate Theater
Musical,   Now, Roberts, Freeman, and Mitton have combined forces again for
yet another challenge, that of fashioning a 99-seat theater production of
Alexandre Dumas’ classic adventure novel The Count of Monte Cristo, adapted
for the stage and directed by Roberts.
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