The magic and wonder and humor and heart of a Tim Burton movie classic come to haunting musical life as Rockwell Table + Stage and The Fuse Project debut Scissorhands, the ideal holiday alternative for those who prefer their Christmas season entertainment with an edge.

 A full-cast “Silent Night” (the Pentatonix version, not the one you’ve heard in church) sets a wintry mood for co-writers Bradley Bredeweg and Kate Pazakis’s take on the 1990 movie smash as cast members fan billows of confetti snow into the air before introducing Dionne Gipson’s Inventor, reconceived here as mother to Jordan Kai Burnett’s androgynous, cutting-tool-appendaged Scissorhands.

 We’re off then to the picture-perfect suburban town that Avon saleslady Peg Boggs (Emma Hunton), her husband Bill (Ryan O’Connor), and their teenage daughter Kim (Natalie Masini) call home.

Unable yet again to sell her wares to fellow housewives Joyce (Carly Casey), Helen (O’Connor), and Esmerelda (Morgan Smith), Peg decides to give the Inventor’s castle a try, and when she discovers Scissorhands alone and shivering in the cold, what’s a warmhearted wife and mother to do but bring him back to town with her and give him a loving all-American home?

Film fans will recall how Scissorhands’ scissor hands soon prove so adept at trimming the neighborhood ladies’ bushes and restyling the hair on their heads that the newest addition to the Bogges’s newest addition soon finds himself being interviewed by a Phil Donahue-style talk show host (O’Connor again).

 Unfortunately, a growing attraction between Kim and our non-binary hero does not sit well with the former’s hot but inhuman boyfriend Jim (Keir Kirkegaard), who soon concocts a plan to get Scissorhands gone for good.

 Unlike Pazakis’s long-running UMPO (Unauthorized Musical Parody Of) series, The Fuse Project plays it relatively straight. Not that there isn’t a certain amount of irreverent UMPO-style humor when appropriate, but director Bredeweg and his co-writer know when to leave joking aside and let Scissorhands’ heart and heartbreak provide a well-earned tear or two.

 More than two-dozen hit songs get jukebox-musical inserted along the way, everything from Whitney Houston’s “I’m Every Woman” to Madonna’s “Like A Prayer” to ABBA’s “Money Money Money,” and you haven’t heard Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper’s “Shallow” till you’ve heard it sung by Burnett and Masini, or Nirvana’s “All Apologies” till Hunton brings down the house with it.

And since it’s Christmas time in the town the Boggses and their adopted child call home, expect to have your holiday spirits rise to a couple of Tori Amos gems, “Star Of Wonder” and “Snow Angel.”

Not only have Bredeweg and Pazakis rounded up some of the most sensational vocalists in town, Scissorhands gives each and every one of them the chance to strut considerable dramatic-comedic stuff.

 Masini makes for an absolutely radiant Kim, Hunton is wacky and wonderful as Peg, and Casey’s hot-to-trot sexpot of a Joyce, O’Connor’s bold and brassy Helen, and Smith’s religious nutcase of an Esmerelda are just as fabulous.

Gipson’s Inventor gives Aretha, Tina, and Whitney a run for their money and Kirkegaard’s Jim is as hunky as he is heinous.

 Saving most memorable for last, Burnett does absolutely exquisite work as the scarred and haunted Scissorhands.

 Choreographers Chris Downey and SaraAnne Fahey sprinkle in bits of exhilarating dance throughout, most delightfully in a Real Housewives take on “Let’s Have A Kiki.”

Gregory Nabours does his usual accomplished musical direction, with Alexander Georgakis on piano, Emily Rosenfield on guitar, Liam Kevany on bass and Greg Sadler on drums providing bang-up backup from start to finish.

Production designer Chadd Michael McMillan makes ingenious use of a reconfigured revolving center stage as his costumes pay imaginative tribute to the movie originals.

 Joey Guthman’s lighting adds drama and flash, and Brian Joseph Marchini’s sound design ensures an expert mix of live instrumentals and amped vocals.

Bredeweg and Pazakis are executive producers. Ashley Balderrama is production coordinator. McMillan is production stage manager and Alyssa Marie Swann is assistant stage manager. Nick Geurts is assistant choreographer.

Jason Ryan Bornstein, Nicci Claspell, Alekxandr Pevec, and Corbin Reid are swings.

Life may have dealt Scissorhands a bad hand (or pair of them), but Scissorhands at Rockwell goes a long way towards making up for that raw deal. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll stand up and cheer this most unique and unexpected of holiday heroes.

Rockwell Table & Stage, 1714 N. Vermont, Los Angeles.
www.rockwell-la.com

–Steven Stanley
December 15, 2018
Photos: Bryan Carpender

Tags: Los Angeles Theater Review, Rockwell Table & Stage, The Fuse Project