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Something awful happens in America when you turn 50. You get a letter from AARP which, according to the five Baby Boomer stars of Too Old for the Chorus, notifies you that you are “officially old.” You see John Travolta on the cover of AARP Magazine and think in shock, “When I was 23, he was the same age as me!” This is the dilemma in which “Shirley,” “Glenn,” “Bobby,” “Faith,” and “James” find themselves in TOFTC, the tuneful musical revue currently playing at the La Mirada Theatre for the Performing Arts.
Of course, it doesn’t take a magazine for you to know that you’re getting older. There’s that “Pardon me but I’m having a Memory Moment” moment when you realize that you no longer recall all the answers on Jeopardy, and inform your friends that you need to start taking Gecko Balboa (pardon, that should be ginkgo biloba).
“Memory Moment” is just one of the many clever and spot-on accurate musical numbers written by Marie Cain, Mark Winkler, and Shelly Markham for Too Old for the Chorus, performed by a sensational quintet of “officially old” but still very young at heart and in talent musical theater vets: Eileen Barnett (Shirley), David Holmes (Glenn), Robert Loftin (Bobby), Diane Vincent (Faith), and Robert Yacko (James.).
There’s also the “Menopause Rag,” a torchy, brassy number sung by Faith (complete with hand-held electric fan). Back in school at 50, Faith falls for her Spanish teacher in the 1950s inspired “Crush,” backed up by the three guys in letterman’s sweaters. In yet another delightful Faith number full of one-liners, the effervescent Vincent sings about “Yogarobics,” a “fusion class for busy people who seek enlightenment.”
Bobby is a former musical theater gypsy who, unlike Glenn and James, was more interested in being Fred Astaire when he grew up than in spying on the girls in the locker room. (Can you figure out which team he ended up playing on?) In “Invisible,” the former Broadway hoofer complains that he’s now “invisible to the ones who used to cast me,” though truth be told, no one in this stellar cast is ever invisible. Later, Bobby and Faith get to samba to the tropical rhythms of “Late Bloomer,” a salute to talents discovered later in life.
In one especially hilarious moment, Glenn becomes a 50-year-old hip-hopper (Droop Doggy Dog) rapping “I just don’t get it and I’m ‘Mad as Hell,’” complete with boom box held on his shoulder and laptop in his other arm. Holmes, who is simply marvelous as Glenn, brings tears to the audience’s eyes as he sings the poignant “Dog Passages,” recalling the canines he has loved and lost. “That’s how I mark my place in time, dog by dog by dog.”
Shirley (in Barnett’s operatic soprano) becomes nostalgic for the 1960s in a lament for lost love, “The Road Not Taken.” And in the equally nostalgic, but this time hilarious Act 1 Finale, “Age is Just a Number,” Shirley and her four buds recall the hula hoop, the Magic 8-Ball, the twist, the swim, the hustle, the moonwalk, the vogue, and who could forget—the Macarena.
Finding “an enormous lump halfway down my thighs. --What is it? --My ASS!,” the ladies decide to get a “Lunch Hour Lift,” which means lipo on their hips to add fat to their lips. Getting older also means caring for aging parents, as James must do for his dad (Holmes touchingly morphing into an 80 year old man complete with walker) in the moving “Child is Father to the Man.”
Loftin proves himself a sensational tap dancer (after all his character Bobby did want to grow up to be Fred Astaire) in “When Fifty Wore a Tux,” his “ode to dressing up.” (We get even more clues to his sexual orientation when he avows that growing up his only role models were Liberace and Little Richard.) A joke is not made of Bobby’s gayness, however. There is a tribute to this 50-year-old gay man’s 15-year-long relationship in the exquisite “Quiet Fire” (“a quiet fire burning endlessly”), which he duets with Shirley, who has herself been married for 23 wonderful years. There were tears in my eyes when Bobby sang “He’s my biggest gift and success,” and kudos to the trio of writers for presenting a same gender relationship side by side with an opposite gender one.
On a brighter note, Faith sings “Get Real Estate,” hoping that “Donald Trump is going to make me a millionaire.” And in “The Things I’ve Learned,” the ensemble lists the lessons of age, such as, “If the story seems too good to be true…then it’s not.” Next, the three (drunken) men complain that they too suffer from “MEN-O- Pause,” when the hair on their heads moves to their backs and ears.
In the inspiring finale, our no longer young but certainly not yet old fivesome proclaim with pride that they’ve got “Potential,” as each takes a new direction in his or her life.
The Too Old for the Chorus ensemble couldn’t be better. Barnett, Holmes, Loftin, Vincent, and Yacko are consummate performers who more often than not these days get the supporting roles. What a joy for them, and for us, to see them center stage, strutting their stuff and showing their ageless talents (though truth be told, for perhaps half the La Mirada opening night audience, these five are still young whippersnappers, and Too Old For the Chorus is a nostalgic look back at when they were only 50.)
The onstage musical quintet of musical director Lisa LeMay, Tim Emmons, M B Gordy, Rick Keller, and John Randall couldn’t be better. Dana Solimando has clearly had a ball choreographing a bevy of differently styled dance sequences, Julie Keen’s costumes suit each character perfectly, and John Iacovelli’s set evokes a coffee shop/bar and effortlessly morphs into various other locales. Neil Peter Jampolis’ lighting and David Edwards sound design are impeccable.
Director Joel Bishoff had sworn never to do another revue because “in a musical revue, you have to start over every five minutes and each song has to be better than the one before.” Lucky for us that he reconsidered this decision, because thanks to his imaginative direction, each moment sparkles and each song is indeed better than the one before.
Though clearly geared towards a 50something audience, Too Old for the Chorus is entertainment for everyone from 20somethings for whom it will provide an optimistic picture of the future as well as for retired folk who, as previously stated, will recall nostalgically their younger days. With Too Old for the Chorus, McCoy Rigby Entertainment has started their new season with a most definite winner of a show!
La Mirada Theatre for the Performing Arts, 14900 Rosecrans Blvd., La Mirada; Sept 28 through October 14. Tuesday through Thursdays at 7:30; Fridays at 8:00; Saturdays at 2:00 and 8:00; Sundays at 2:00 and 7:00. Reservations: 562 944-9801 or 714 994-6310 or www.LaMiradaTheatre.com.
--Steven Stanley
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